Answer: Because they're dumb.
I have spent the last 4 hours railing against my assignment to write an article about the Wisconsin state budget, and am consequently in no fit state to dispense wisdom.
UNLESS you would like information about the Wisconsin state budget, that is, because if you do WE’RE IN BUSINESS. For example, would you like to know the amount of per pupil categorical aid budgeted into the 2016-2017 Wisconsin state budget? Me neither! I can think of very few things I would like to know less! Top contenders are 1) learning that all my friends secretly hate me 2) learning that I walked around all day with a large piece of spinach in my teeth, a la Yzma. But, by gum, the number is $126.8 million, for your educational convenience!
My housemate, Kait, supported me by studying in my room and refraining from giving me judgey looks when I would declare “This is impossible!” and collapse on my for-some-reason-today-and-only-today-slower-than-molasses laptop. And then seek solace from several pounds of chocolate covered blueberries. (In my defense, it could have been chocolate covered chocolate, or like, chocolate covered lard. My vices are only semi-destructive. #winning)
And then I remembered that as a Business major I had to write a 100-page group business plan, and that last week I got to go people-watch at a museum and write about it for homework, and I felt a lot better. And I know as a journalist I have to be able/willing to write about all different subjects blah blah blah. I’m just saying that in an ideal world, budgets would not be one of them. This is like someone handing you an algebra book and telling you to write a love story about it. I would rather write about more interesting things, such as dirt.
But really, I am L-O-V-I-N-G Madison, and my part time job, and my housemates, and my classes. One frustrating assignment does not a bad semester make.
Sidenote: I am enjoying being a loose cannon, as I am writing this directly before posting it, so Mary and Anna won’t have a chance to edit it and make sure I’m not too crazy. [Insert cackle]
Come to think of it, I could take this opportunity to tell all sorts of embarrassing/incriminating stories about them. Such as the time Mary “accidentally” pushed me head-first down a window well when we were playing tag around my house. I was most likely concussed. But then, I guess she once had a brick dropped on her head by another sibling. Brain damage for everyone!
Or about how Anna once had me do a trust fall when I was young and impressionable and she stepped away and I fell straight back on my precious cranium, because I thought she was an upstanding moral citizen, and I’ve never been able to do a complete trust fall since. Come to think of it, many of these stories involve brain damage. Hopefully this does not show in our writing.
So does this seem like a reasonable blog post length? I sure hope so, because I have things to do in the morning, such as never think about budgets again. (Flash forward: Lisa in financial ruins, due to her stubborn refusal to even consider budgeting her finances.)
I promise next week I’ll have impressive depths of insight. (Hardy har har.)
Live it up,
P.S. I would just like to clarify that I am SO grateful to be in grad school, and I love writing, and was even kind of enjoying the stupid budget thing at the very, very end, when I finally found the infernal numbers I needed. I am not a complete ungrateful wretch. Thus ends my perception-correcting speech.