I’ve noticed something since I got married: I’ve become more weepy. More and more often, I will become teary at something that, in my single days, would only have registered as a fleet feeling of sadness.
I’ve always been sensitive; when I was little, I would take strategic bathroom breaks during the sad or tense parts of movies. (To give you a sense of just how easily I became uncomfortable, Homeward Bound required three of them.) Stressful moments were just too much for me, partly because they sometimes made other people cry, and that made me feel really uncomfortable.
But now, I am one of those people who cry, or at least get teary, and it happens when I least expect it. Take, for example, Air Force One. It’s not exactly known for stirring the heart strings, except maybe your desire for Harrison Ford to be president in real life (which has probably increased exponentially this past year). In the past, I always felt sad when the president’s family is held hostage and put in imminent danger. But the last time I watched it, I definitely teared up. I couldn’t believe it.
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that that part of the movie has more of an impact on me now. Now that I’m married, any time a plot line involves losing a spouse, it taps into a fear that didn’t exist before I had a husband myself. I’ve heard that this becomes even more true once you have kids. Basically, I’m going to be a mess.
But sometimes things that have nothing to do with marriage or family and loss make me feel sad. This past winter, I listened to the Hamilton soundtrack for the first time. Unlike Anna and Lisa, it didn’t become an addiction for me. It wasn’t because I didn’t enjoy it -- it really is amazing -- but because a lot of the music made me feel too emotional, and when I’m feeling more anxious and depressed, that’s just too much for me to handle.
This past weekend, I listened to the Hamilton soundtrack again after watching the PBS documentary about the show. I was excited to hear it and thought that I was in place where it wouldn’t affect me so much anymore. Well, it’s definitely better for me in that respect than it was previously, but there was still one song that was too much to handle. Which one was it, you ask? Was it “Dear Theodosia,” the song where two men sing about their hopes and dreams for their newborn children? No. Was it “It’s Quiet Uptown,” where a married couple deals with their losses? No, although that one was probably borderline. It was “The Story of Tonight” the song that’s sung before the men start fighting in the Revolutionary War. An emotional time, yes, but I don’t think that song was intended to be the tear-jerker, to say the least. I think it was the darn violins that got to me. Anyway, it of course got extremely stuck in my head and made me feel very sad for a half hour. Again, it probably makes sense that I was more affected by it right now; transitions always make me more emotionally vulnerable. But still.
What about you? Has something silly (or at least not intentionally sad) ever gotten to you? What was it? Or am I alone in this? (Say it ain’t so!)