There have been several times in my life when I have been SO DARN ATTRACTED to a man that I pretty much couldn’t function anymore. I like to think of myself as a relatively intelligent, put together person, but in the presence of these men I turned to a puddle of nerves, and a really awkward puddle at that.
If you have been my friend in the last ten years, I guarantee you know the name of at least one of these guys, because we analyzed 5 to 25,000 interactions with them.
Lisa comes back to dorm: OK SO I JUST HAD THIS VERY AWKWARD ENCOUNTER BUT IT WASN’T THAT AWKWARD RIGHT??
Suitemates (sympathetically): No no, of course not!
Lisa: Are you sure?? Let me tell you about it
(Suitemates listen to Lisa’s tale with look of growing horror)
Lisa: So, not that bad right? Right?? Why do you look so concerned??
(Suitemates mercy chloroform Lisa)
The thing is, the guys I have had massive crushes on, never turned out to be a good fit for me. Especially since none of them liked me back. But I would get hung up on them for a lonnnnnnng time. Again, just ask my friends. They know. (Bless their hearts)
And I’m pretty sure if they came rolling down the streets of Madison, I would instantly reform into the awkward puddle. Those darn freakin pheromones.
WHY IS THIS? I am a very logical person. I’m about efficiency. If someone does not like me, it makes the most efficient sense to move on. Why was I completely incapable of this? I’ve considered. This is what I’ve got:
- They were all SUPER ATTRACTIVE (Did I mention that?)
- I never got to know any of them very well, which maintained an aura of mystery. This also stopped me from discovering any deal breakers, because basically all I knew about them was that they were attractive, funny, and confident
- It’s really fun to be instantly attracted to someone, and every chick flick ever has told me that’s how good relationships start (either that or you hate their guts, a la Anne of Green Gables)
- I used to have a very strong internal locus of control, meaning, I thought I could affect a lot more change that I could in reality. I believed if I just had more (hopefully less awkward) interactions, I could win the man. This did not turn out to be the case. As the Genie taught me, I can’t make anybody fall in love with anybody else. Also I can’t bring people back from the dead.
I’m not saying attraction isn’t important. I strongly believe it is. I’m just saying it sucks when it turns me into such a sucker, and also, that shouldn’t be my standard of a successful start to a relationship. And if you decide to be my friend, you will have to deal with this, heaven help you.The end!