Since moving to Minnesota, I’ve decided to finally allow myself to pursue writing as my job, which is what I’ve always really wanted to do. However, it’s been hard for me to embrace that I’m….a….writer?... because I’m in the early stages, and I don’t feel like I have enough to show for it yet. I haven’t made any money. I haven’t even fully figured out my writing routine. When I look at calls for submissions, I often feel overwhelmed and ridiculously intimidated. Impostor syndrome is running rampant.
This perfectionistic anxiety is the only justification I can give for the fact that, when I came across this Buzzfeed quiz that “will reveal your age and dream job” based on what colors you like, I not only took the quiz but decided to approach it as a litmus test for whether or not this writing thing was really a good idea. I knew it was ridiculous and went against everything I had ever learned about signs and finding your calling, but I didn’t care. I craved something tangible to tell me I was on the right track.
Well, guess what happened? The quiz said I should be a writer. And you know what? I felt really, really encouraged.
Yes, it’s just a silly Buzzfeed quiz (that I’m not even sure I completed correctly) that happened to work out for me. Yes, even if it had said I should be a truck driver, I would have known that writing was for me and that I just need to push through the doubt. Yes, I’ve already been encouraged by people in my life who know me more than any algorithm does that this is what I should be doing; I shouldn’t need a quiz to tell me that.
But I like to think of it as God humoring me. I needed a little bit of grace, and he gave it to me through the most unlikely source. Sometimes it’s the little things that make the most impact, and that Buzzfeed quiz was one of them.
And if nothing else, the quiz also said I was 32, which really isn’t too far off the mark, so it’s clearly a totally valid, scientifically accurate test that I am completely justified in using as a basis for my life.