(Brought to you by life and therapy.)
To modify the quote from Pirates of the Caribbean, life plans and beliefs are more like guidelines than actual rules. Don’t be afraid to change them if they’re not working or don’t make sense anymore. Follow the direction of your growth.
Accept what is, even if it’s not what should be…
…but acceptance ≠ resignation.
There’s a middle ground between repressing your feelings and getting caught up in them. (My task for my 30s: find it consistently.)
Sometimes things have to die before they can be reborn.
…and sometimes rebirth comes where you least expect it.
If your advice includes the word “just” in it, it’s probably bad. If they could “just” do it, they already would have.
When someone gives you a compliment, don’t deny it, just thank them.
Trust your gut, especially if something feels off.
Your body and mind are doing the best they can.
Institutions are never more important than the well-being of the people in them.
Systemic oppression is real.
Listen to the people with the least amount of power in the situation; if they’re not flourishing, you need to re-evaluate.
You’re not responsible for other people’s feelings.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you can’t set boundaries.
Boundaries are extremely important and not selfish, and you may need to set them with yourself.
Perfectionism isn’t some cute weakness-that’s-actually-a-strength; it’s crippling and debilitating and something to take seriously.
Love is a much better motivator than fear or stress.
Allow other people to have their own experience.
To modify a quote from The Princess Bride, if you haven’t got your emotional health, you haven’t got anything.